by Diane Montgomery

While browsing through Redbook’s December issue, I noticed they featured Christina Aguilera, who is recently separated from her husband and going through a painful divorce.  I was curious what she would say about relationships. Would she be bitter or brokenhearted? What would be her feelings about men? This says it all:

“Every woman has the ability or the drive to do it all and have it all. Men aren’t as strong and capable as we are. We’re machines.”

I was shocked at how blunt and demeaning to men she sounded but as I thought more, it wasn’t far off from the way mainstream culture is beginning to see men. In most sitcoms, the husband is the dumb, childish one and the wife holds it all together. Even in church, skits feature women having to be patient with their incompetent husbands who mess up everything and the wives have to fix the problem.

I’ve been as guilty as anyone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked guys in my life to look for something and they’ll say, “It’s not here.”  I go look in the same spot, find it, and my thought is, “Just like a man not to be able to find anything. Women are so much better.”  I have to catch myself and think about what I’m saying. Women are beginning to do the same thing men did for thousands of years.

As women, we’re becoming like the misogynists we fought against. We’re becoming a female-dominant culture. For so long women fought for rights and equality and the battle was being won. Women can vote, run for Congress, own property and are encouraged to get the highest education possible. In 2008, women were 48 percent of the labor force and men 52 percent. In the church, women can teach other women now; some are even highly esteemed authors and speakers. I’m thankful for all the women that fought for these rights, I am reaping the benefits. But it seems the battle has taken a nasty turn. The fight for equality has turned into a fight for superiority.

Elizabeth Gould Davis (The First Sex, 1971), a famous feminist, regarded men as genetic mutations because of their Y chromosome, believing women had superior DNA makeup with an extra X chromosome, accounting for superior physiological makeup and the superior intelligence of women over men.”

Candice Bushnell (Sex and the City) wrote a book about 4 women in New York called Lipstick Jungle. The women were CEO’s, tycoons, and they wanted women ruling the world. As one of the characters was going through a divorce, she reflected on men this way: “It’s always amazing how quickly they crumble when the pressure gets to be too much. We have all these ideas about men, but they’re all wrong. Men are just weak little frightened people…”

In the past men degraded women, but now women are degrading men. All respect is gone. Women think they can do everything better than men.  “Men only hurt you, use you, or abuse you. They’re all lazy, immature, and cheaters. We don’t need men to be fathers to our children. We’ll make better dads anyways.” We demanded respect from men and we’re starting to get it, but what have we begun to do? We disrespect men. We’ve forgotten how much we hated how they treated us, and sometimes still treat us as women. In our fight to be free, we’ve forgotten to be biblical. (Lk. 6:31-32)

It’s evident men and women are different. God’s given us different strengths and weaknesses, but we’re all made in His image (Gen. 1:26-27). We’re all equal in value, worth, and dignity in Christ. (Gal.3:28) God made male and female different for a reason: to complement each other, to balance each other out and perform different functions here on earth – all which deserve respect. Different doesn’t mean better or worse. It’s just different. If you’re a mother, are you better or more valuable than your child? No! You just perform a different function than your child. Are you better than your girlfriends if you’re better at cooking, school or singing than they are? No!

As Mary Kassian states, “The Lord created male and female as an object lesson – a parable as it were – of a profound spiritual reality: The relationship between Christ the husband and the Church, His Bride. Men are to reflect the strength, love and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women are to reflect the character, responsiveness, grace and beauty of the Bride He redeemed.”

Women aren’t better than men, and vice versa. We’re all sinners, but Christ commands we love one another, as He loved us (Jn.15:12). Only through God’s grace and help can we ever do anything worthy or valuable in His eyes. We are equal; Different in role, equal in worth.

Just as we want respect from men, they want respect as well. (Eph. 5:33) We give respect, not because it’s deserved or earned by a flawed human, but because they were created in the image of God. No matter how frustrating we sometimes find men, they should receive respect because we’re all commanded to give it.(Rom.12:10) While our foremothers fought valiantly for their future daughter’s rights, we must be careful not to fall into the thinking of feminists who treat men as worthless. As women, we must take care that we ourselves do not become abusers of equality.